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Treehouse of Smallville
Disclaimer: This may come as a shock, but the characters in these stories are not mine. 1 - Tales from the Smallville Wood 2 - Horror at Kent Farm 3 - Clex and the Pity **** 1 - Tales from the Smallville Wood "Damn, we're out of gas." "That's an old line, Lex," Clark laughed. "If you want to stop and make out for a while, just say so." "I'm not kidding, Clark," Lex told him. He sighed and leaned forward to peer out the windshield of the Porsche. Ahead of him on both sides of the road, oddly shaped evergreens loomed. They hovered menacingly, closing over the road, and little of the remaining daylight got through. "Sorry about this, Clark," said Lex. "But it looks like we're going to have to walk." Clark's eyes widened marginally. "Not through these woods, we can't. It's loaded with meteor rocks out there." "It's just a couple of miles. There's a gas station right on the other side of the woods." "I'm allergic to meteor rocks," Clark reminded him. Lex sighed again and tried not to roll his eyes. "I know, Clark. I said I'm sorry about this. But the car really is out of gas, and there's no other traffic on this road. Damn Chloe's shortcuts, anyway," he muttered, throwing open the driver-side door and stepping out. "Come on. It'll be dark soon. If we hurry, maybe we can get to the other side of the woods before nightfall. Or at least before the rain begins," he added, observing the charcoal sky between two branches. A peculiar-looking bird, skinny and frazzled, with feathers sticking in out in all directions, swooped past Lex and perched along a low-lying limb. Lex stared at it curiously. The bird gazed back, and made an odd sound. Whppt, it seemed to say. Lex slammed shut the car door and stood, hands in pockets, waiting for his companion. Clark frowned and stepped reluctantly out of the car. "I don't know about this, Lex. I don't trust this forest - never have." "Forests aren't usually judged for trustworthiness, Clark," Lex pointed out mildly. "Forests don't usually just appear, full-grown, after meteor storms," Clark countered. "Well, maybe you'd feel better if the forest had 'just appeared', toddler-sized, after the storm." Clark glared at him. "You want to sleep alone this weekend?" "Sorry," Lex mumbled. Whipped, said the bird again. Lex scowled at it. Walking over to where Clark stood in front of the car, Lex glanced about. In the woods well to the west of them, something caught his eye. "Look," he said, pointing at the structure. "Is that a chimney? It doesn't look too far away - maybe if we head there instead, we can find a phone. Or at least get some shelter for the night..." His lover eyed him dubiously. "You think that looks like the kind of place we'll find a working telephone?" "You have a better idea?" Lex challenged. And since they both knew the answer to that, they began their trek through the woods. The bird flapped along, tree-to-tree, accompanying them. They hadn't gotten far when Clark doubled over. "Lex....wait..." Lex glanced around them, looking for the meteor-rock source he knew must be nearby. He spotted it just to the right of them - the branches of one tree glowing eerily in the descending darkness. Wrapping an arm around Clark's waist for support, he said, "Come on. We'll go this way instead," and led Clark away from the tree. A few yards further along, Clark felt well enough to straighten up, though he still looked queasy to Lex, and the two continued their journey. Skirting the area around the glowing evergreen, they made their way toward the chimney. It began to rain. "Lex?" Clark spoke after a while. "Does it seem to you that the house isn't getting any closer, no matter how far we walk?" "It's just your imagination, Clark," Lex assured him. "We're getting there." "Maybe we'd be better off just going back to the road and heading for the gas station," Clark suggested. Lex considered the idea, then shook his head. "No. We must be closer to the house than we are to the road by now, and the gas station is a couple of miles further-" He paused as a strange badger-like creature wandered in front of them. "Yeah, Texaco!" The creature did a little dance, spun like a corkscrew, and then crawled harmlessly away. Lex and Clark stared after it for a moment, and then continued walking. "Was that Pete?" Lex asked. Clark shrugged. "I think so." "Has he always been a tove?" Clark frowned. "I don't know. His family goes to our church, though." "A tove, Clark," Lex said. "It's a creature in the Jabberwocky..." Clark blinked expectantly. "Lewis Carroll?" Lex explained, then sighed. "Your parents never read Lewis Carroll to you," he guessed. "Ever rent Disney movies?" "Sure, once in a while," Clark told him. "But not often. Mostly, we'd go with whatever was on TV. We used to watch Davey and Goliath reruns sometimes," he volunteered. And another piece of the puzzle falls into place, Lex thought to himself. "Too bad we didn't think to ask Pete where the nearest W is," Lex commented after a moment. Clark shrugged vaguely. "Just go in the woods," he suggested. "I..." Lex paused. "Never mind. Come on. We're going toward the house." "Can't we at least discuss it?" Clark argued. "I think the gas station is..." "The house," Lex repeated, and began walking. "It's closer." The rain began coming down harder, deepening the almost-twilight of the woods. "Always has to be your way, doesn't it?" Clark muttered, following behind Lex. "You know, you're just like your father like that." Lex froze, then spun to face Clark. "You know what? You really drive me nuts when you say things like that. I am NOT like my father." Turning again, he continued on the path toward the house. "Yes, you are," Clark insisted. "You both always need to be in control. And you have his know-it-all attitude, too." Lex ignored Clark and kept walking. "...just like him in bed," Clark added slyly, bringing Lex to a standstill. "And what would you know about my father in bed?" Lex demanded. Clark shrugged, the picture of innocence. Wordlessly stepping around Lex, he continued along the pathway. "Dammit, Clark, I want an answer." "I know he swings both ways," Clark answered with a teasing grin, "and I know he likes it long and slow, just like you do." "You've got a long and slow walk back to the farm if you don't tell me how you know that," Lex warned his lover. "I've had other lovers cheat on me with him. I won't tolerate that with you." "Why not? Do they all say he's better or something?" When Lex didn't answer, Clark chuckled and glanced over his shoulder. "Oh." he said. "Well, relax. I'm kidding you." Lex frowned, and Clark laughed again. "Honest. I'm just joking," Clark promised. "Now come on. Are we heading toward the house or not? I'm getting soaked to the skin." He turned again and headed along the path, still chuckling. Lex sighed and followed. Whppt, said the bird. **** It was well past nightfall when they reached the house, and Lex wondered how the chimney had been visible at all from the road. Even allowing for the several times they'd circled out of their way to avoid meteor-infested trees, it seemed the trip shouldn't have taken as long as it had. Of course, he reflected, they'd made the last part of the trip in near-perfect darkness, which had slowed them considerably. It would have been impossible without Clark's outstanding night-vision. The house itself was greenish in color, with layers of paint peeling off and exposing the rotted wood underneath. Most of the windows appeared to have been broken at one time or other, though none were boarded up. Cobwebs and wet leaves covered the porch and steps. Lex looked at Clark, chagrined. "One 'I told you so' and I'm tying you to the first glowing green thing I can find." Clark offered a non-committal shrug, and both men gingerly picked their way up the dark porch steps. The front door was in no better shape than anything else attached to the house. "I wonder if this place was here before the forest sprang up," Clark murmured. "It might have been," Lex agreed. "I can't see why anyone would have built it here afterward." "Doesn't look like anyone lives here now, though, does it?" Lex shook his head. "No, it doesn't." Nonetheless, he raised his hand and knocked lightly on the worn wood door. No one answered. Hesitantly, he tried the doorknob. To his surprise, it wouldn't budge. He tried harder, but still no luck. "Damn," he muttered. "I can't believe this. Whole house is falling apart. How can the lock still work?" "Maybe it's just stuck," Clark suggested. "Let me try." Lex removed his hand from the door. Beside him, Clark reached for the knob, his hand colliding with Lex's withdrawing arm. Then Lex heard the creak of metal against wood, and the door was opening. Taking Clark's hand in his, he drew a breath and stepped across the threshold. The disturbed dust around them stirred, and Lex coughed. "Hello?" Clark called softly. There was no answer. "Hello?" Lex tried, a bit louder. Still no answer. Clutching Clark's hand more tightly, he led the way carefully into the house. The interior was cool, with a slightly damp smell. In the darkness, Lex could make out no features, but he had the impression of being in a fairly large room. Perhaps it was the way his voice had echoed, he thought. "There's a fireplace over there," Clark whispered. "Maybe we can get a fire started and warm up a bit." Lex peered through the darkness, and could barely make out the deeper blackness of the hole in the wall that Clark seemed to be referring to. His lover was already making his way across the room, more sure-footed than seemed safe. "Careful, Clark," Lex said softly. "You don't know if these floors are rotted through." "I'll be careful," Clark said from somewhere ahead of him. "You stay put until I get the fire going." "How do you plan to do that? I doubt there are logs and matches over there - " He stopped, stunned, as the bright light of a fire flared, and Clark suddenly became visible in the warmly glowing room. Quickly regaining his composure, Lex made his way across the room toward Clark. "How'd you do that?" he asked the younger man. Clark swallowed visibly. "I didn't," he said with a perplexed frown. "I was just... I don't know. I didn't do that," he reiterated, nodding at the fire. Lex turned and examined the room more thoroughly. There was an old sofa that really didn't look serviceable, along with an overstuffed chair that probably once matched the sofa in pattern. A low coffee table separated the sofa from the fireplace, and remnants of another table leaned against the chair. A broken lamp lay on the floor beside the sofa, near the far wall. "Looks like it was a cozy little place at one time," Lex noted. Clark sat on his haunches in front of the fireplace, checked the floor, and then settled into a cross-legged position. Lex eyed him in amusement before doing the same. "Are you sure you didn't start the fire?" Lex queried gently. "It's not as if I don't know you can do some pretty unusual stuff." Clark shook his head. "It wasn't me. I was going to try," he confessed, "but I didn't get a chance." "Weird," Lex said, gazing lazily into the flames. "Yeah." They sat in silence, letting the heat from the fire settle into them, drying the clothes they wore and warming them through. Outside, the rain was now accompanied by a sharp wind. "So," Clark eventually asked, "how much better do they say your dad is than you?" Lex scowled. "Why don't you go back to shutting up?" Clark laughed softly. "I'm just -" The sudden sharp hiss caught them by surprise. Lex jumped and turned, expecting to see a snake, and instead found himself facing a dim green form, diaphanous and airy, separated from them by the old sofa. Beside Lex, Clark rose, then immediately doubled over in pain. Instinctively, Lex wrapped an arm across the younger man's shoulders, keeping his eyes focused on the form in front of them. As he watched, the form took on a faintly human shape. Lex stared in surprise. "Who are you?" he asked. There was no answer. The form hovered momentarily, and then began moving toward them, its color brightening as it reached Clark. Lex swatted at it, but his hand merely passed through it. Clark groaned in misery. "Get away from him," Lex told the form, swatting uselessly again. Desperate, he tried to place himself between the green thing and Clark, but the vaporous creature swirled past him and enveloped the stricken farm boy. "...couldn't go back, huh?" Clark muttered. "No, you had to go...toward...the house..." "Oh, shut up, Clark," snapped Lex. "I'm doing what I can..." The form wrapped itself around Clark, glowing brightly; then, with a hissing sound, it was gone. Clark stood upright, no longer in pain. But as Lex looked at him, Clark's eyes glowed a bright green. "Clark?" he spoke softly. "Are you okay?" "I'm fine," Clark said, his voice huskier than usual. It sounded like him... and yet, it didn't. Lex shivered. "You don't seem right," he noted uncertainly. "Are you...alone...in there?" "No," came the answer. Well, damn, Lex thought. Clark won't let me forget this one. "Who else is in there?" "Don't worry," 'Clark' replied. "Your friend is not being hurt. I'm merely using his body as a host until I can find one of my own. I can't escape these woods unless I'm in a living body." "But you can't just live in Clark's body," argued Lex. "I'll only stay until I find one of my own to take over," it promised. "Once I find a living person - preferably an attractive one - without a brain, I can take it over permanently with no problem. Do you know if I can find such a thing around here?" "In Smallville?" Lex queried. "You'll have your choice. It's practically a supermarket for what you want." "Good," the being said. "Once I find an adequate body, I'll transfer out of this one, and you may have your Clark back. Until then..." The being possessing Clark leaned forward, and a bright green light glowed behind the familiar eyes. Clark's mouth pressed against Lex's for one tantalizing moment, and then was withdrawn. Lex licked his lips hungrily. "I haven't had sex for twelve years," the being murmured. "And this body responds quite nicely." "I've noticed," Lex admitted with a smirk. "It's one of my favorite things about him." "I can see why," said 'Clark'. The being ran a hand down Clark's chest as Lex watched by firelight. Apparently, its own previous experience was enough to overcome both its twelve-year celibacy and Clark's teenaged hormones, because it savored its own touch with more luxury than Clark usually brought to the gesture. The hand continued down one thigh, but the green eyes were focused on Lex. The hand continued moving slowly, brushing lightly across Clark's crotch. Lex swallowed. A low groan escaped the familiar-unfamiliar creature before him. "Come on," the being eventually said in a voice huskier than before. It extended a hand, which Lex accepted. They moved carefully across the dusty, rickety floor back to the front door. "Where are we going?" Lex wanted to know, as the front door opened before them. "I'm not staying here," the stranger in Clark's body said. "I need to find a motel room or something." Lex demurred. "It's dark out. We won't be able to see where we are." Still, he followed the other out onto the porch. The rain had let up, but the wind still stirred, and the scent of mud and grass assailed their nostrils. "My car's out of gas, so we can't get far." "I know the way," his companion said. "And I've got a spare can of gas out back. We'll be fine." They made their way down the porch steps, and the stranger in Clark's body led the way around the house along a little dirt path to a small wooden shed. He took a rusted key from a hook beside the door. A moment later, the door swung inward with a creak, and Lex was pulled gently to the threshold. Standing in the shelter it afforded, 'Clark' again leaned in to brush his lips against Lex's in a kiss. "Damn," it said. "You wouldn't believe how horny I feel right now. I just want to spend all night indulging in the best sex in all of Kansas." Lex brought a hand to Clark's chest, his fingers finding their way between the buttons of the flannel shirt to the bare skin beneath. "We don't have to wait until we get to a motel for that," he said softly, as his fingers brushed a nipple. "We can go right to my place. It's a lot more comfortable." He kissed Clark's mouth again. "Mmmm," the being hummed in agreement. "Is that where he lives?" Lex nipped idly at a bare section of throat. "Who? Clark?" "No," the being said. "Your father." "..." With a shove, Lex sent his companion sprawling to the floor, and stepped backward out into the rain. 'Clark' began rising to his feet. "What the...?" Lex glowered at him, and then pulled the shed door shut before him. Locked inside, the being began shouting. "HEY! Let me out of here!" "You know," Lex called over the shouting of Clark's voice, "they don't say he's that much better than I am!" He stared at the door for a moment, half-expecting Clark to break through it. But the door held, and Clark's voice kept hollering in incoherent rage. Lex watched the door for a moment, then sighed in resignation. Turning, he headed down the dark little path, away from the shed. "Well, Clark," he said aloud, as the rain began again. "I guess you were right. We should have stayed on the highway." **** 2 - Horror at Kent Farm
Clark, trailing behind, pulled his t-shirt over his head. "It's not even midnight," he pointed out. "Not everyone goes to sleep as early as this family does." He stood on the bottom step, along with his mother, as the elder Kent reached and opened the farm's back door. "Oh, thank goodness, Mr. Kent," said a familiar voice. "Is Clark around?" "Lana?" Clark called, stepping forward, switching on a nearby small lamp. "What's wrong?" Lana peeked over Jonathan's shoulder. "Clark, I need your help. I've got to get rid of my parents." "Your... parents?" Clark looked from Lana's expectant face to his parents' confused ones. "Your parents are dead, Lana." Lana shook her head. "They were dead. But I brought them back." "Huh?" "I brought them back. In my lab," she told him. "What lab?" Clark wanted to know. Jonathan stepped aside with an annoyed sigh and motioned the girl into the kitchen. Lana accepted the invitation, but remained just inside the door, glancing occasionally through the checkered curtains out onto the side porch as she spoke. "The lab I set up in the Talon." Clark frowned. "When did you do that? And why? You've never been interested in science." "Of course I have, Clark. Everyone knows that. They even joke about it in the yearbook." "She's right," said Martha, speaking for the first time. In her hands was a copy of the Smallville High yearbook. "It says so right here." She handed the book to Clark. "Special interests include art, riding, and the science of re-animating the dead," he read aloud. "Oh," he said by way of apology. "I guess I just never knew that about you." Lana gave an irritated sigh. "Don't worry about it now, Clark. Just help me get rid of my parents." "But why do you want to?" Clark asked, mystified. "You've always wanted to have parents..." "I did," she corrected him, a touch of frustration slipping into her voice. "But you don't know what it's like. They're not normal. They're zombies. And they're vegans," she added, peering through the curtains again. "They threw away all of the milk in the Talon. No milk, no lattes. How am I supposed to run a coffeehouse if I can't offer lattes?" "Would they allow soy milk?" Clark suggested uselessly. Lana's pretty face scrunched up as she considered the thought. "Soy milk? I don't know. How do you get soy milk, anyway? After all, soybeans don't have...well, mammary glands, do they?" she queried, blushing. Clark blushed, too, and looked at his feet. "Forget about the soy milk," Martha told them both. "Tell us about your zombies... I mean, parents." "I just wanted them to love me," the girl answered wistfully. Sighing, she added, "But it's all going wrong. They want me home by nine every night. I don't even close the Talon until nine-thirty..." As she stared again through the window, she let out a yelp. "They're coming!" The Kents rushed to the window and peered out at the moonlit farmland. Off in the distance, two figures were moving awkwardly along the road. "What do they want here?" Jonathan demanded to know. Lana looked at him, confused. "Me, of course. They're stalking me...they're out of control. I never should have brought them back to life "she admitted. "Well," replied Clark's father grudgingly, "I hope you've learned your lesson." Lana nodded. "Yes, sir." "Clark, get the light," Jonathan commanded. Clark ran back toward the stairs and shut off the lamp. As he returned to the kitchen door, he saw the shotgun in his father's hands. "What are you going to do with that?" he wanted to know. "What do you think? Those zombies aren't going to kill themselves, you know." Drawing open the door, he told his wife, "Martha, you and Lana wait in here. Clark, you come with me." Clark followed the other man out into the side yard and watched as the Langs approached from a distance. The zombies were making their way awkwardly along the edge of a cornfield. They moved slowly, stumbling, arms extended in front of them. Sometimes they stopped and grabbed at stalks of corn, devouring them, husks and all. Torn skin and clothing hung off them in a grotesque fashion. "So those are Lana's parents," he said softly. "They're not quite how I pictured." Jonathan looked in surprise at Clark. "Oh, that's right," he said after a moment. "You never knew them when they were alive, did you?" Clark shook his head. "Good people," Jonathan said. "Too bad about what happened to them." They were getting closer. Clark could hear them now, their heavy monotonous voices carrying across the quiet of the moonlit night. "GRAAAIINS. GRAAAAIIIINNNSSSS." Clark shivered. "GRAAAAIINSS." Mr. Kent brought the shotgun up. Clark looked from his father to the Langs, then turned and looked back toward the house. No one was at the window. The first shotgun blast startled Clark. He swung his head in time to observe the elder Kent calmly lowering the weapon. A puff of smoke hung in the air. "Dad, why did you do that?" he asked, eyes darting from his father to edge of the cornfield, where Lewis Lang now lay in a heap. Laura Lang, undeterred, continued forward. "We don't even know what they were going to do!" "Only one way to deal with zombies, Clark," Jonathan muttered, raising his shotgun again. The second blast echoed through the night, and Mrs. Lang dropped to the ground. "Burn them," his father ordered quietly. "Burn them?" Clark repeated, uncertain. "It's standard to burn zombies," Jonathan impatiently explained. "Now will you just do as I ask and stop being difficult?" Shrugging, Clark focused on the Langs, concentrated, and sent a red wave of heat at them. He and his father stood and watched until the flames petered out. Eventually, they turned back to the house. Clark sighed. "Anything wrong, son?" Jonathan asked. "I guess not," replied Clark. "It's just...somehow, I know Lana will turn this around so that it's my fault." **** 3 - Clex and the Pity I. 'Twas the day of Homecoming, and the big football game The meteors came, causing death on the spot They tore through the cornfields and blew out the hair II. A dozen years later the tot was a snot The tot had grown into a teen, name of Clark "Don't lump them together like they're one and the same! "Lex isn't just like his dad Lionel, Now Lana Lang, Smallville's own princess adored, But, of course, its a story they'd already heard. So over the years, half of Smallville was stalking They attempted to kill her with pitchforks and rocks The pitiful princess, she barely would blink Her constant nostalgia toward terrors of old So when Clark's heart was claimed by the bald sexy heir The princess snuck up to Clark's loft-hideaway And Lex, standing outside the barn, saw it all Now the princess was haughty, and stupid as well But Lex was a jealous, emotional guy His boy-toy was shocked - he assured his love, "Lex, The Sexy believed in his Clark, so he thought Then Lana decided that pity's the way "And oh, by the way, have I told you about that? "You've told me!" said Clark. "You've told everyone! The princess was shocked at Clark's sudden outburst "He'll miss me, and worship me just as before III. The Pity showed up at the mansion one evening So he told her to go, and went upstairs to sleep Lex shuddered just then - he could take no more now She escaped, and he chased her downstairs 'round the mansion Again he held down and attempted to smother Then Clark wandered into the mansion of Lex, "I know we're all tempted at one time or other "I'm sorry, Clark, darling," the billionaire said. "I know," Clark admitted, "It drives us insane. And Lex knew his true love was probably right "Just ignore her," he said. "Come upstairs with me, Lex. And that was the only incentive required IV. They decided the next day they'd flee to the city They never looked back on the town left behind And in Smallville the townsfolk went on with their days, And the princess still wandered through all Smallville town
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